Showing posts with label bald men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bald men. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What women talk about...

Overheard at a beauty parlor:

Very pretty girl getting artificial nails fitted on:

So I bring him his soup and he says. "It’s cold."
So I heat it and bring it back.
He takes a sip and says: It’s still cold."
I take it back, heat it thoroughly and serve it again.
He : “It’s cold.”
I go, heat it, bring it back.
"Its cold.”
That's it. I go back, heat the soup to boiling point, then heat the spoon red-hot and bring it back with my loveliest smile.
The creep takes a sip and is silent for the rest of the flight.




Two very young girls lying with eyes closed and faces hidden under cucumber face masks:

Girl 1: The boy is coming this evening to “see” me.
Girl 2: Remember to look at his hands.
G1: Hands? Why hands?
G2: Don't be an idiot. Don't you know, the size of a man's hands is equal to the size of his…..
The face masks crack up.


Pregnant woman getting a foot massage:

At my Bunty's time I had it really bad.
I used to sit and sit and sit and strain and strain and at the end of it , what do I get?
THIS much. (Finger and thumb held an inch apart)



Much married matrons:
My husband is such a miser. He’s just back after a six-month stint abroad and guess what gifts he’s brought for the boys. The hotel blankets.

The above is absolutely true and just a small sample. Don't think you men are up to hearing the whole of it..

Lots of love and really sorry for keeping away for so long,

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

10 Things Men do That Drive a Woman cRaZzy...


Crazy as in hopping mad.

1. Dyeing their graying chest hair. 
Desist.  If its gray, its gray; and we love you anyway.



2. Scratching itches.  Particularly at forked junctions.
Why don't you just carry along a broom?


3. Coming out of your room draped in a towel, "by
 mistake", when a woman is around.

Believe me, we KNOW it isn't a mistake and unless you're Brad or John Abraham, we DON'T like.




4.  Draping long strands of hair over
 your bald spots. 
Quit.  Tricky when it
 blows and those locks fly
 about.
Pssst.. besides, women love the feel of that smooth, round skull.....  


5. Growing ONE fingernail loooooong. Generally the pinky.
Why?   To dig?

6. Leaving shirts open to the belly button to display shaved chest/matted carpet.
Go find a tree caveman!



7. Displaying spindly legs in shorts.
Truly some things look  better viewed in the dark.




8. Maintaining huge paunches. 
Yes, we adore you.  But draw the line somewhere, love.


9. Wearing pointy toed/white shoes.
Ooooooohhhh, the darlings!!!



10. Calling a woman "sister" or worse, "auntie".  
The unkindest cut of all. 

Love you always,